Xamuel with an X

Recently I started going through that much deserved journey that ends in renaming yourself in order to reclaim your spirituality and roots. Dropping the slave name that are imposed on us because of the hundreds of years of a culture of denial, patrimonial lines and because of the oppressor. This journey begins with writing, signing, telling and relearning in how to sign my name. Not to mention learning the significance of your name. With an X? "Simon limon, I spell mi nombre con una X!". "Pero guerito, ese nombre es de la familia de tu papa Samuel. Ese nombre a estado pasando por tres generaciones de hombres", me dice mi jefita as I look at her wringing her fingers in her reboso. "Dispensa mama, pero Im hear to break the cycle". Spell my name with an X please. As so many would think that you spell Samuel with an S, but I reclaim my name and start it con una X. Porque, I do not spell my name with an S anymore. Rather, I spell it with an X.

I've seen so many people change their names or begin to spell their names with an X now a days. For reasons I do not know, but they have their reasons why... as do I. My fathers name is Samuel. My abuelitos name is Samuel tambien. My bis abuelo is named Samuel tambien. And my great, great grandfather is also named Samuel. This tradition is embedded with traces of Machismos and historical socioeconomic practice of patriarchy... is no more. There are so many implications of this in my name. Because all materialism and fortune that has been passed down and gets passed down through the males in my family. The name Samuel has also been passed down as well.

Some what because of the Muslim blood that runs through my blood that was given to me because of the colonization of the Spaniards because of the Muslims and another because of the machismo male centeredness of the Roman Catholic church that has been passed down thru the Spaniards. "According to our social economic pyramid.... all men who feel displaced racially, culturally, and/or because of economic hardships will turn on those whom they feel they can order and humiliate, usually women, children, and animals-just have they been ordered and humiliated by those few privileged who are in power. However, this definition does not explain why there are privileged men who behave this way toward women." Ana Castillo Massacre of Dreamers. I feel that the time to end this patriarchal line.. its coming to its last breaths and by my actions in acknowledging this it will help my future sons and even help me realize the HIStory of denile of the muxeres in my family line.

One thing I forgot to say is that I come from a family line of Wichol (Uratika) indigenous people of Jalisco. I look forward to waiting to earn my name thru my elders back in my rancho.

In a nut shell im changing my name to Xamuel con una X. I am waiting to earn my Wichol name from my family in Jalisco and I am ending or taking the steps in bringing light into this new way of decolonizing my name, my slave name.

Honestly, it feels great and its a great privilege to sit here in this computer and write my thoughts about how I feel about some thing so simply yet so significant in my life. I hope this message helps others to rethink about somethings so simple as your name and something so heavy as patriarchal lines.