Random writtings on my iphone

For those of yall that read often... thanks. I appreciate the luv and respect that yall offer me. And to the people that have told me that my blog inspires you... super thanks. It feels food to just write sometimes. I promise I will be updating this at least four times a week since I have more time now.

And for those of yall waiting the Zapatourism blog... please be patient its coming out soon stay tunned.

Dont forget about Regeneracion Ome... the first one is going to be a killer!!

For now enjoy these random but heavy writings. Much luv and respect ^_^

Xamuel

description for MEChA National workshop in the fall of 2009

Ok so what is Anarchy really about?
Anarchy is a utopia society: education is free, healthcare is free, public transportation is free, people in the community live as equals, people work for the community not corporations and the cops don't exist because they are not needed. In this workshop we will talk and learn about the diffirent political systems that govern us today. The famous lie that anarchy means no order and chaos is nearly a way to discredit Anarchy by the rich and powerful because it threatens their existance. Come with an open mind and heart and we all can learn how otro mundo es possible dentro de un mundo donde muchos mundos.

E-mail to Reyna
Nuevo Plan de Liberacion
Reyna, Q'vo? Oyes, I wanted to ask you about an idea that has been going thru my head for the past couple of months. You how our MEChA documents are in need of an upgrade (can we agree?) Itk we should work on a new manifesto for the future generations of not only Mechistas but to all students of the world. A new manifestation that will pose the question... what is the point of having an abundance of resources available in the University if you can't put them to use in our community? Not only that but the colonial aspect of the Universitys academia.

summer 2009
That one winter in the Selva Lacandona
Two winters ago I took a trip to Mexico.
It wasn't your typical trip were you go to party or be a tourist.
In this tríp we left our innocence and our parents feeling scared because of all the propaganda they hear about whats supposedly happenning in Mexico.

Notebook entry dec 24 in the Selva Lacandona
I... I dentify as a Zapatista
I started young... Identifying, because when you identify you are telling the world LOOK I'm not a domino! I refuse to be a stereotype in your box. I'm a adherente to la Sexta Declaracion.

phone note during the MECha national conference 2008
Speak from the heart
Speak from the heart and nothing will stop you. Brothers sisters and those in between. This is the time to say lla basta.

after coming back from Josefinas jardin
Indigenous herbs
Huizontle, pipixa, epazote, verdolagas, chipilin, papalotl, comino, rudá y wekoxtle. Estas son las hierbas y las vegetales que me an estado crusando desde el dia que decidi decirle a l@s poderes colonizantes que tratan de borrar nuestras raizes y cultura lla basta!!

After I made my first stone plug 9/28/10
Stones for plugs
Jade: green
Green stone: verde
Obsidian: black
Fired clay: red?
Aplite: white with red. Tlazolteotl
Corral Jade: Red

Cilantrito
On behalf of the fire
Our luv is like a fire... It is like a pine tree...
Que?
Nuestro amor...

Unfinished Speech 11/2/10

Food: Let's start off this conversation with something that we all can relate to and go down in subjects as we get to know each other a little better. Healthy, organic, fresh, local and seasonal food is a human right. All people should, no must have access to this type of food regardless of their class, community, race, gender, sexuality and religion. The uSA hadls has this sick system that allows only the most wealthiest

Education: colonial construct

Labor: exploitation

Land: rent 1970's equal housing act

Start workers collective, shop locally from mum and pop shops, don't shop from corporations,

Democrats and republicans are the same snake with two heads! they both represent the capitalist system.

The first thing we need for a revolution to gain momentum.

*General strike: We need to bring the da system to it's knees by coordination a series of general strikes and tell people to take out all their $ from da bankos.

**Redistribution of land, wealth, and ceremonial centers.

***Students need to realize that the most capitalistic people in the world not to mention the ones that are most invested in da future of capitalism are American students.

-X

I remember when I first ran into Bob Dylan... it was because of Jesse and Ramon. I never said this before but tlazocamatito for doing that... <3


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9EKqQWPjyo

Un mensaje a Mar de un pino con fertilidad

Mar,
como estas? We havent spoken in a long time. It makes me sad to think that as I write this I try to find an excuse that will justify not writing to you sooner.
But the truth is... school gets in the way of my education and... well... its been crushing me to see alot of things go down the way the have in my home and In my community. Pero a si es la vida no? It beautiful y venceremos!

Te quiero contar un cuentito que he estado pensando por mucho tiempo. I think you will like it much and will savor it as you read it. enjoy!

When I started at Los Angeles Valley college in the fall of 2007 I was excited because I wanted to devour all the knowledge that has been denied to me for 500 years(or five years that It took me to start school again after high school). I remember the first week of school I met Dulce Medina. I was kicking it outside of the Planetarium of our school (kinda like that one picture of James Dean wearing that fugly red jacket that only he can pull off wearing pointing his finger to the floor with one leg over the other) waiting for my Astronomy class to start. I remember that I was reading Neruda at that time. I was reading Pablo Nerudas" Veninte poemas de amor y una cansion desesperada" as I was standing there with my pompador and my skinny jeans wearing a Morrissey shirt the sky seemed sad about to cry.

Sabes, a lot of crazy random but strategically placed events have been happening in my life right now. Im happy to say that I understand one of those events now y te quiero contar...

I never understood the reason why Pablo Neruda writes so much about pine trees! Pines trees this and pine needles that, they smells good, the pines cones are brown! blah blah blah pine cones pine trees! Until a couple of days ago... I found out why he writes so much about them.
Las semillas que se esconden dentro de los arboles de pinos son tan dur@s que aveces no salen de l@s conos. Entonces cuando las semillas de un cono de un pino no se abren pues no tiran las semillas. Hence the seeds don't sprout, trees dont grow. What happens next is amazing! A marvel that the creador@ has done. Pine cones carry the seeds right, but if a pine cone doesn't go thru a fire/wildfire then the seed pods can't open. WHAT A DEAL, WHAT A DEAL!! Imaginate eso! If this seed pod doesn't go thru a wretched fire, a calamity like this, destruction, then it cant liberate its seeds.

This is why our people, all people suffer so much. We need that fire to ignite us, to let our seeds be pollenated by the fire outside and inside of us. The essence of suffrage is the right of passage that we earn to simply learn and remember... exist.

I luv Pablo Neruda slightly more than I used to when I read his stuff now. Echale ganas Mar. Por que to resist is to exist here in this forsakened system.

Thanks for listening and reading Mar. I hope I hear from you soon.

un abrazote rebelde
tu compai,
Xamuel

Teocallis in Teotiuacan

Having dreams of the past comes with lessons.
In this dream I flew out of my bed wearing mi pantalon blanco condisenos de venaditos, Xochitls azules y rojitos, coyolxauhquis negras, Tunatihus brillantes y mi morralito de colores con medicina adentro.
Traveling as fast as the speed of light I left from my home in my reservation I call South Central.
Llegue... llegue a un lugar donde desde arriba del cielo que miraba abajo se miraba como que mucha jente andaba caminando, de rodillas, y asta gatenado. Se acercaban a un centro de energia que no puedia ver de donde estova porque Tonatihu no me dejaba. Me aserco a ver que es que cause tanta emocion y relajo a donde van.
All the people were making their way to what looked like blurs from far but looked huge!
People of all colors and Ethnicities were gathering around these monumental Pyramids.
"AMAZING!" I thought. Our people are coming back to the Teocallis in Teotihuacan!
As I got closer and closer to the people I noticed that the people making their way to these monuments were as a matter of fact my people.

They were all wearing white robs, sandals, and turbans on their heads.

What a sight! I thought. Im looking at my people making their way to the Teocallis. Reality hit, it wasn't my people that I thought. It was actiually Muslims heading to Mecca (In actuality Moors and the Muslim religion is a part of my ancestors. Because the Moors conquered the Spanish and the Spanish annihilated my Anahuakina ancestors. Which means I have Moorish blood)

I quickly thought about my Moor/Muslim blood. it didnt surprise me that I thought I was at Teotihucan because the Teocalis that are in Mexico are very very similar if not identical in architecture to the ones in Afrika. Much of the culture that we have as indigenous people in Anahuak the Afrikans share it with us... drums to do danza, the low meat heavy green diet, the oral traditions, closer connection to da elements and mama earth Tonatzin and of coarse the colonization aspect to their History.

This dream came with a great teaching or point of clarification. If we look at the Pyramids that are in Afrika and compare them to the Teocalis that are in Mexico, we can honestly say that Capitalism has desecrated our Sacred Teocallis in Teotihuacan. Look at the people that go to our sacred sights. Tourist! How come we have let the world desecrate our ceremonial centers in such a way that they have become Touritst attractions. The people of Afrika pay homage to their sacred Pyramids and dont let tourist in to their cites.

Reading the last chapter of Autobiography of Malcom X the night before was probably the reason why I had this dream. It made sense what I was thinking about tourist desecrating the Teocalis. Make the comparison if you be to differ.

If I ever get the honor and privilege to embark on the journey to the sacred Teocalis in Teotihuacan Im taking some corn from the south central farm, making pinoli out of it, some sage from my school, my Turkey feathered copilli, some copal from East Los Angeles and my sweat to give as an an offering. These offerings must be at the top of the Templo mayor as I dance Tonatzin, Tezcalipoca, Hallayote, and Xilone.

Give thanks :]

Expressionate

Expressing yourself is one of the most beautiful things a person can do in their existence in this world.

Weather it being in a medium of screaming your most emotional song to a crowd, sewing a patch on your favorite shirt or jacket, writing on a piece of paper a random thought, painting on a canvas what you perceive, aggregandole unas cuantas ojitas verdes de menta a tus chilaquiles colorados, crafting some earrings made of clay, putting on some kat eyes (make up), rocking those heels, rocking those boots and waraches, dejarte que te dejen acer una trenca y te cuentan un cuentito y se mete entre la trensa, wearing skinny jeans for a guy, wearing a skirt for a muxer and those who identify of neither and both genders, showing affection to your partner in public, even holding up a sign. lol

When people see other people expressing themselves it brings some type emotion. A good emotion heck even a bad emotion at times is good. Like Oscar Wilde says, "Because the most tragic thing in the world, is not being bad talked, but not being talked about at all." What a queen! Oscar Wilde was to say this. Im proud of him. Thats why its so important to express yourself! It makes people... talk, think, act, live, and be. Talking is expression tambien. Este systema does not want you to express yourself. It fringes when the status quo sees people benefiting from urban gardens like the SCF, when it sees people opening bookstores like Tia Chuchas, when it sees workers collectives begins to sprout, it even fringes when people begin their path to decolonize themselves. I encourage you all to begin to express yourselves more and consistently. Because people get motivated when common people do not so ordinary things.

This blogg post come bearing good news. I have decided to express myself in one the ways that I have always wanted to express myself in but I never could point it out till now that I started to notice a lot history repeating itself. I realized that sometimes theres history that can and must repeat its self. Yall will see what I mean for New years what Im planning on doing to decolonize myself and my ideas (FYI: Mexica new year not the gregarian New year). Express yourself! Como dice la cansion! <3

Feelings

Keeping up with my Danza Azteca commitment, facing suspension at school, finding time to do my home work, writing Recultivacion, keeping that life line open and fresh with the love of my life, starting the application process at school for admissions to a U.C Cal state or private college, being a well balanced brother/hijo/uncle, finding time to make the SCF support committee meetings/SCF Co-operative meetings/building the C.A.U.S.E. org at L.A.V.C., catching up with Capuline, eating Veggy and healthy and finding time to write and paint have been really difficult for me lately. Nobody said it was going to be easy to decolonize yourself. If we don't suffer taking the steps towards living the dream that we so badly want to live in than we don't ever deserve to live it. Im already living the dream because when I put in that positive energy the Universe is going to shoot that positive energy right back at me.

I wonder if this is how Frida felt when Diego left to New York right before she said "fuck that Im going with you". Reading Magon has brought me happiness all around. Dont get me wrong Im not saying forget about Marx, Engels, Gramcy, Luxemburg, Lenin, Trosky, Mao, Che, Fidel nor even Malcom. The way I see it its like you cant enjoy that Vegan Coconut Oatmeal Ice cream sandwich with out knowing what other flavors taste like. Tienes que probar una variedad de nieves para tener una parte en que comensar. Magon is such an interesting fellow to read. Many of my fellow Marxist will give me crap for this but Im going to say it "I especialy love Magons work because I feel as if it belongs or pertains to me the most because Magon is a Mexican". Although Im not Mexican and I dont identify as a Mexican my ancestry comes from mesoindigenous culture or Mexican. Thats why I feel like we Xican@s have and must use his writings as fuel for our fire. It comes in steps the whole reading reference. But I welcome any one especially the youth that have never heard of Marx or Luxemburg to begin your politocal reading with the writings of Ricardo FLores Magon. I wish I had, thats why we need to make Magons writings especially accessible to the youth.

Friday im going to find out weather the school administration is going to suspend me for the Fall semester, for ten days, put me on probation or give me a slap in the hand by giving me a warning. Danza Azteca fuels and gives me the energy to fight another day. The danzantes that are in the lucha are one of the most beautiful and well spirited people that I have ever met(stubborn at times), homework is something that has to be done, hopefully the companeras from congresso and Liz help with Recultivacion and it will be a huge collective, Liz is the most precious person that I have ever met she taught me how to see that beauty of sunsets that I never noticed, school sucks Im not invested in it I just do it for the kicks and to push peoples buttons that are invested in it so much haha!,mi family deserves more time I just need to make a better schedule, I hope we get the farm back because the people that run that fight deserve to eat the fruits of their labor soon, CAUSE at LAVC will hit the ground running, Capuline eats everything I give him and a writers writes. That reminds me I have to finish the last episode of Danza Mexica Cuahutemoc. Its going to be good stay tunned... <3

Danza Mexica de Cuahutemoc en Los angeles

Danza Mexica de Sepulveda Parke

Jumping, twirling, in the air like a lost feather

we dance

we dance together in a circle as if we found each other again

the smell of copal reminds me of a distant sunday morning Catholic church service

the spanish clergy took it from the indigenous and claimed it a Catholic tradition

saying goodbye to father sun and welcoming the night with Coyoxaqui in the stars

my feet hurt, bruise, get cut, blisters bleed

the ceremony begins...

We practice in a recreational center, in a gym, in one of the reservation I lived in called panorama city in Van Nuys. The circle that I started learning the sacred Danza Azteca was lead by two "cabezas". Bloch and Faul. These two cabezas are the ones who "teach", "lead', the Danzas and set the example of the male energy danzantes.

The people that were doing this ceremony were of many different ages, colors, and more important philosophies. As I gazed at them doing their ceremony I thought, reflected, thought again, reflected again and finally understood some of the meanings(or at least I thought I did). Strangely enough my biggest fear was not being accepted because of my colored eyes, light skin, and short hair.

It took me about three weeks to finally jump in the circle and give it a shot. Without help from others I ran in there with shorts and chicken untanned legs. I sweated, missed steps, got blisters, and slipped I even fell! I learned how to ask for permission to the four directions to offer a Danza and to do certain prayers before I start a Danza. It was beautiful! I was beginning to understand the concept of the Danza Azteca with in a couple of months. My sisters Karen, Fernanda and brothers Cuauhtemo, Bryan and Medardo were the people that taught me how to walk again and pray. I thank them for their time, luv, and most of all their patience.

Most people think that you get to wear what ever you want to like the feathers, the traje,

chachallotes, sonaja and the rest of the things you put on to complement your traje. But no in the Danza

nation of Cuahutemoc you must earn the right to carry the sonaja the chachallotes, feathers, traje and the rest of the things that you carry. Some Danza nations are different and this is where the politriks come in.

There are three reasons why Danzantes people do Danza or are in a group that falls in these categories. (Im sure there are more but these are the most broad in the Danza movement and I will talk about these).

Danzantes for the Church that Danze for saints. (Catholic) These are the descendants that hid the sacred danzas from the spanish crown behind or in Spanish instruments made from Armadillo shells. Special homage is given to these because if it weren't for them then there wouldn't be any Danza at all.

Danzantes for a political cause/reason. Either as a form of resistance or another political reason. Usually we see these Danzantes in protests or marches.

Danzantes for the show or to make $. These are the Danzantes that are strictly to make $ or

just for the fashion. (they do Danza around, nerby or in placita Olvera)

Danza Mexica Cuauhtemoc was the Nation that I started in which is a strictly political

nation. Almost militaristic in its nature and structure.

In the up coming months that follow a series of things began to happened in my life that change its course...

My compas Cuauhtemoc and Bryan got black listed from Cuauhtemoc de Sepulveda park and were forced to resign.

I joined the I.S.O. (International Socialist Organization) of LA.

Being a Marxist, having communist philosophies and being a member of the International Socialist Organization got me blacklisted from being a Mechistas in Los Angeles Valley college.

It was in the winter of that year in 2008 were I got invited to join a caravan to visit the Zapatistas carakoles. I came back a totally different person. My world was turned inside out.

Tune in tomorrow for my last blog on this cliff hanger

Danza Mexica de Cuahutemoc en Los angeles

DANZA MEXICA CUAUHTEMOC

Spring of the year 2008 proved to be one of the most decolonizing and self-enlightning times of my life till this day. Bryan was one of my closest brothers that went to Los Angeles valley college with me. I met him during my first MEChA meeting on those cold rainy days in the fall semester of that year. One night a vision came to him... he has been wondering so much about a people or group of people that keep that fire warm. By celebrating, praying, and paying homage to the representations of the elements and to the directions of the universe that surround us. "Like a type of danza" said Bryan. "Kinda like the ones the African people do?" I said. "I think that's just in the movies Bryan, there are no more of those traditions." Bryan, one day found a group of people that practice ancient indigenous traditions, our ways of paying homage to mother earth, to the father sky, and grandfather time. He never told me that he found this circle of luv.

In the course of the next three months Bryan looked happier and rejuvinated everytime I saw him. "Whats up compa?" he never did want to tell me at least that what I felt. So, I asked the sister Karen. She told me that they both started doing DanZa Azteca every Tuesday night and Friday night. I was eager to find out more about this circle. I asked her if I can go to the practices and check out the mood. Karen laughed and said, "Samuel, all you needed are some shorts and a will stronger than your enemies hate to come and check out this ceremony."

The following tuesday i went to this practice/ceremony. Karen told me that the Danza starts at 7pm and ends at 9pm. I was sold! At first I was nervous, scared, shy but above all I was ready to find out a thing or two about this ceremony. I didn't know what to expect from the people that were in charge of leading the Danza.

At this time I was living in Panorama city in the spring of 2008. I had three roommates. Jesse, Bryan, and Luis. I was sharing a room with Bryan. Working full time at the Home depot and going to school full time at L.A.V.C. Rockabilly style, music, a pompadour and a 1967 Nova was my thang. Little did I know that this new or rather old tradition was going to get re-tapped and was going to change my life forever...

Tune in in a couple of minutes for the rest of this blog...

"Why I left Danza Mexica Cuauhtemoc"

"El Pantano"

Today mi mama regreso de North Carolina.
My mother explained to me how beautiful it is over there in North
Carolina, how the land looks so fertile, so rich, so full of green spaces
emough to be able to craddle and support a good size family garden.
She told me that she asked my papa that she wanted to move to North
Carolina... for good.

"Nunca, en ninguna manera!" He said as he sits
in a rocking chair flipping thru the pages of La Opinion.

So I asked her "why do you think he said not a chance?

"Pues, esque no quiere dejar el pantano atras."

El Pantano? I tough. Whats the pantano mum?

*As the story goes, me and my family have lived for the past 20 years
two blocks away from a house where they sell cocaine, speed and Meth,
a drug house. People go to this house day and night 24/7. Walk thru
the gate, hand some money to the local junky that gets paid with drugs
to run the place in the order for the muxer that runs the drug
house tp stay smoothly behind the scenes, and walk away with your choice of uppers to fulfill your fix on forgetting how bad this system is crashing down on you.*

Ever since i can remember that house has been slanging.

The "pantano" is this space were all the local alcoholics and drug addicts

come to kick it and hang out, this "pantano" gives birth to a community a
community of depressed, frustrated and afraid men and muxeres of Latin@/Mexican@
decent. The reason these muxeres and hombres call this place "El pantano" is because
(according to one of the men que le dicen el Cuñado) that this place
they hang out in is like quicksand or atleast that's what they
translate it to Spanish el panteon. This place of quick sand is what allows these men to stay here a home base, a place where they can forget about they're oppression and exploitations of all flavors for as long as the alcohol, meths and other drugs thin out in their blood streams. My Papas fear of being afraid
stops him from giving his family a chance to move out of the ghetto.

*Dont get me wrong I think moving out of your community that's plagged by
drugs and poor schools is one othe most wrong things you can do.
Because you are running away from the problem. But to put it into
perspective my parents are and have always been in movement Ollin.
Because they are and have always been economic refugees of their
ancestral home land.
The fear that is imposed to the down trotted hombres in my community
is something that is deeply rooted in machismo. Having said this, this
place is also a black hole that cradles the fears and machismo into the
hearts and minds of the next generation of kids that play soccer, play
football, fix they're bikes, play tag and sell candy in the front of this house on a daily cycle. The solution?
You can't call the police because the police needs these drug houses like
these in order to have a choke on ghetto community. A choke that justifies
illegal police searches, intimidation tactics of the pigs that patrol
these streets, ghetto birds flying over head at all times of the night and justifies the bare essence of the pigs existence in our communities.

Xamuel with an X

Recently I started going through that much deserved journey that ends in renaming yourself in order to reclaim your spirituality and roots. Dropping the slave name that are imposed on us because of the hundreds of years of a culture of denial, patrimonial lines and because of the oppressor. This journey begins with writing, signing, telling and relearning in how to sign my name. Not to mention learning the significance of your name. With an X? "Simon limon, I spell mi nombre con una X!". "Pero guerito, ese nombre es de la familia de tu papa Samuel. Ese nombre a estado pasando por tres generaciones de hombres", me dice mi jefita as I look at her wringing her fingers in her reboso. "Dispensa mama, pero Im hear to break the cycle". Spell my name with an X please. As so many would think that you spell Samuel with an S, but I reclaim my name and start it con una X. Porque, I do not spell my name with an S anymore. Rather, I spell it with an X.

I've seen so many people change their names or begin to spell their names with an X now a days. For reasons I do not know, but they have their reasons why... as do I. My fathers name is Samuel. My abuelitos name is Samuel tambien. My bis abuelo is named Samuel tambien. And my great, great grandfather is also named Samuel. This tradition is embedded with traces of Machismos and historical socioeconomic practice of patriarchy... is no more. There are so many implications of this in my name. Because all materialism and fortune that has been passed down and gets passed down through the males in my family. The name Samuel has also been passed down as well.

Some what because of the Muslim blood that runs through my blood that was given to me because of the colonization of the Spaniards because of the Muslims and another because of the machismo male centeredness of the Roman Catholic church that has been passed down thru the Spaniards. "According to our social economic pyramid.... all men who feel displaced racially, culturally, and/or because of economic hardships will turn on those whom they feel they can order and humiliate, usually women, children, and animals-just have they been ordered and humiliated by those few privileged who are in power. However, this definition does not explain why there are privileged men who behave this way toward women." Ana Castillo Massacre of Dreamers. I feel that the time to end this patriarchal line.. its coming to its last breaths and by my actions in acknowledging this it will help my future sons and even help me realize the HIStory of denile of the muxeres in my family line.

One thing I forgot to say is that I come from a family line of Wichol (Uratika) indigenous people of Jalisco. I look forward to waiting to earn my name thru my elders back in my rancho.

In a nut shell im changing my name to Xamuel con una X. I am waiting to earn my Wichol name from my family in Jalisco and I am ending or taking the steps in bringing light into this new way of decolonizing my name, my slave name.

Honestly, it feels great and its a great privilege to sit here in this computer and write my thoughts about how I feel about some thing so simply yet so significant in my life. I hope this message helps others to rethink about somethings so simple as your name and something so heavy as patriarchal lines.

"New beginnings"

I want to have a chance to create my own Ourstory.

A story of my own... by my own accounts and perspectives.

Make this stone work out of my own hands and carve it with the tears of joy.

Through music, paintings, new ways of eating, performance, dress, dialogue circles and writings.

Im ready to begin this encuentro, this healing, these platicas y encuentros.

!Que viva el nuevo Xicano hombre!

Materialism

the materialism in society today,

In woman... In men...

Novela+fashion=materialism

Sports+spend$+creates false culture or

capitalistic culture=materialism

What constitutes beauty?

Make up? Movies? Tv shows? The

current look?

Riots on the street of Echo parke

Xican@s/Latin@s vs Hipsters

Zoot Zuiters vs Sailors

riots on the streets with the gentrificators

"I cant identify with most of the hombres in my circles"

Like Gloria Anzaldua wrote,"Im not accepted in this or that space, so I'm making a new space, a third space". Pues entonces so be it, Im creating a new space a third space tambien.

The nuevo Xicano hombre.

Because I can't identify, I can no longer be silenced because of the so called conscious hombres that are supposedly "down for a mujer". But at the end of the day they punch out their unity cards and go against everything they stand for, porque le salen lagrimas a mi corazon to know that there are hombres that "know wsup" como se dice and still hold secret meetings were they all hold the flag of machismo higher than the flag of unity and acknowledgement of their In Lak Etch's.

Saben que? I want to give an invitation to all those hombres that I organize with to come to this circle that I need help in crafting and molding that is going to create another form of discourse about the conscious hombre and shatter the stereotype. Using arte as the form to bring consciousness to his new space. Arte expression is going to be the fuel to our survival as the Nuevo Xicano hombre's. Workshops aimed at hombres, panels, community events, arte exhibits, positive loving healing non-reactionary Mc's that spit the positive and loving aspects of our journeys, the beginning of the end of traditional patrialchal Danza circles and any other ways wich we can bringin this new being into life and to the light.

Im looking forward to shaping this circulo(with the help of other nuevo Xicanos) into something that I can't even imagine for myself.

Too many of times do we have muxeres workshops about, what not to wear, and how not to look at people. This is such a perverted way of thinking if we as hombres do not have any workshops that teach us on how not too look at muxeres in a dirt way, or on why we shouldn't whistle at muxeres when muxeres want to express their bodies or simply just want to wear what ever they feel like, why not to rape muxeres, think twice before you raise your voice at a muxercita and most importantly stopping a violent act to a muxer by any person when ever you happen to see it then how do we as conscious hombres expect to end the violence to the muxeres. Its the Ometeotl that we always talk about, the balance , the Yin and Yang to bring this new sun.

These are some of the ideas that have begun to simmer in the pit of my heart and my mind. Im sure there are many nuevo Xicano hombres out there. So please break the silence and help me help each other begin this space of healing for us and most importantly to our abuelas, muxeres, muxercitas, the LGBT community and the unborn fetuses that are in incubation.

Es tiempo para decir LLA BASTA!!

c/s

In the spirit of the Nuevo Xicano hombre

In the spirit of the new conscientazion that I have begun to go through that I have tapped into because of the readings of Ana Castillo's book, "Massacre of Dreamers" and because of the spit that Gloria Anzaldua's books "Border lands". They have equipped me with the tools to analyze and break down to figure out my identity and to pin point the socialization process that we hombres have gone through living in this capitalistic system... I am searching for a nuevo identity that i can identify myself with because I feel that I cannot identify with some of the hombres in the movement.

In the organizing spaces that I preside in, there are still so called "conscious hombres" that are "down for the muxers". But when this "conscious Chicano" thats a mujer solidarity pioneer to the bone, are away from others and the organizing spaces, they act quickly and put on their players hat and go against what they advocate for. Im not saying all men but some or even most. Im trying to find a new space, a third space. The closest identity that I can get to is "the nuevo Xicano hombre". With an X.

I began to go through a transformation of my old ways of thinking as I heard the position papers being discussed in the L.A. MEChA central space in the fall of 2009. Hearing the testimonies of muxeres that were affected by this so called "conscious Chicano" made me realize how much we as student organizers have come by in our movement. And lisening the statements that Dulce told me that muxeres would have to tell new muxeres coming into the organizing spaces. "You are fresh meat companera, trucha!" "Te tienes que ponerte lista porque muchos de los hombres que estan en these "safe spaces" are usually only looking for one thing. So on and so fourth. My definition of what defined a "conscious Chicano hombre student organizer" began transforming and took on a new meaning. Don't get me wrong when I joined Danza Mexica Cuahutemoc in the spring of 2008 I noticed this notion of a "Conscious Chicano hombre" only being a "conscious Chicano hombre" from 9 to 6. I began to noticed and piece together the puzzle because of the two Chicano cabezas that lead the Danza circulo fit in this category of a 9 to 6 Chicano hombre (these kats I talk about... I will break down more in my next blog because I feel it deserves more spit).

Because of the time and circumstances that I happened to start organizing in the M.E.Ch.A. space during the fall of 08' and when I joined Danza Mexica Cuahutemoc in the Spring of 08' I started noticing the 9 to 6 Chicano and the 9 to 6 Chicano Danzante more often. I started to mix all these experiences and teachings... I had a good batch of cement and tools, reading Castillo and Anzaldua and taking a Pre-columbian Chicano studies class and I also must give credit and mention going to the Chicana feminist conference put on by the muxeres in Conscienca femenina of CSULB, this pretty much sealed the deal of what Im going to try to break down like James Brown.

Like I said, I came into the MECha space at a time when a well respected MEChista in the National level was a 9 to 6 "conscious Chicano hombre". This representative was behind the scenes being a player and lying to himself and to other about his solidarity with la mujer.

What Im trying to get at is that there is a minority of Xicano hombres that feel the need to create a circulo that will set the example to other Xicano hombres that are in the movement to treat muxeres with luv, respect, and honor. Because muxeres can talk about how hombres need break away from theyre machista ways of thinking. But we as the nuevo Xicano hombre must set the example to begin the process of healing each other by creating this circulo of dialouge and hopefully this healing process can expand and have an artistic medium. Because we are visual people and we are artistic people.

Please let me know what yall think about this blog. I have created it with feelings of luv and compassion and If I have offended anyone or anything I apologize. Im speaking with a mouth full of sweet mints and my intentions are not to disrespect.

-Xamuel

C/S