Feelings

Keeping up with my Danza Azteca commitment, facing suspension at school, finding time to do my home work, writing Recultivacion, keeping that life line open and fresh with the love of my life, starting the application process at school for admissions to a U.C Cal state or private college, being a well balanced brother/hijo/uncle, finding time to make the SCF support committee meetings/SCF Co-operative meetings/building the C.A.U.S.E. org at L.A.V.C., catching up with Capuline, eating Veggy and healthy and finding time to write and paint have been really difficult for me lately. Nobody said it was going to be easy to decolonize yourself. If we don't suffer taking the steps towards living the dream that we so badly want to live in than we don't ever deserve to live it. Im already living the dream because when I put in that positive energy the Universe is going to shoot that positive energy right back at me.

I wonder if this is how Frida felt when Diego left to New York right before she said "fuck that Im going with you". Reading Magon has brought me happiness all around. Dont get me wrong Im not saying forget about Marx, Engels, Gramcy, Luxemburg, Lenin, Trosky, Mao, Che, Fidel nor even Malcom. The way I see it its like you cant enjoy that Vegan Coconut Oatmeal Ice cream sandwich with out knowing what other flavors taste like. Tienes que probar una variedad de nieves para tener una parte en que comensar. Magon is such an interesting fellow to read. Many of my fellow Marxist will give me crap for this but Im going to say it "I especialy love Magons work because I feel as if it belongs or pertains to me the most because Magon is a Mexican". Although Im not Mexican and I dont identify as a Mexican my ancestry comes from mesoindigenous culture or Mexican. Thats why I feel like we Xican@s have and must use his writings as fuel for our fire. It comes in steps the whole reading reference. But I welcome any one especially the youth that have never heard of Marx or Luxemburg to begin your politocal reading with the writings of Ricardo FLores Magon. I wish I had, thats why we need to make Magons writings especially accessible to the youth.

Friday im going to find out weather the school administration is going to suspend me for the Fall semester, for ten days, put me on probation or give me a slap in the hand by giving me a warning. Danza Azteca fuels and gives me the energy to fight another day. The danzantes that are in the lucha are one of the most beautiful and well spirited people that I have ever met(stubborn at times), homework is something that has to be done, hopefully the companeras from congresso and Liz help with Recultivacion and it will be a huge collective, Liz is the most precious person that I have ever met she taught me how to see that beauty of sunsets that I never noticed, school sucks Im not invested in it I just do it for the kicks and to push peoples buttons that are invested in it so much haha!,mi family deserves more time I just need to make a better schedule, I hope we get the farm back because the people that run that fight deserve to eat the fruits of their labor soon, CAUSE at LAVC will hit the ground running, Capuline eats everything I give him and a writers writes. That reminds me I have to finish the last episode of Danza Mexica Cuahutemoc. Its going to be good stay tunned... <3